Bright Star Canada Ltd

Victoria and Southern Vancouver Island Marriage Counseling, Trauma Counseling, Post-trauma Counseling, addiction Counseling

(250) 216-7250

Contact Us

Bright Star Canada Ltd counseling in the Victoria area can get your relationship back on track.

  • Learn the key for effective communication and improved intimacy.
  • Benefit from counseling sessions that restore fun and passion.
  • Address challenges in your relationship with effective communication and conflict resolution.

What is Intimacy/Relationship breakdown Where Do We Begin

It is the healing of enmeshment. It is not purely an objective thing of understanding and comprehension. It is experiential therefore subjective and every time you stop to think about it, that actually slows the process down just a little.

It is the journey of coming to know the self. All Of The Self.

In my Step Four Step Five Guide I commented that it was the circuitous journey of going nowhere the long way to find someone who was right there all along. You! Intimacy is difficult because we expect it and want it right away. We seek instant intimacy. Sex, the best worst example of instant intimacy, can be the “instant gratification" for intimacy-seeking souls. Sex, courtship and infatuation all contain elements of feeling intimate, but they are not intimacy. Too much, too soon, too fast, too hard can damage the possibilities of intimacy.

Intimacy is the result of a sharing and caring friendship built between people. It is the feeling in a relationship that promotes closeness, ‘bondedness’ and ‘connected¬ness' without enmeshment. For someone who has spent their life struggling in enmeshed relationships intimacy is difficult to recognize. Intimacy is not the focusing on each other, or having sex or fighting with each other. Rather it is a growing - side by side - facing the same direction, facing the problems life has thrown in the way, sharing the world within and sharing the world without, and most importantly, it is the building of a history of experience, one on top of the other and allowing that sharing to cause or create an awareness - together.Oh yes, there is instant sex, instant relation¬ship, instant hot chocolate, but rarely instant intimacy.

The key word in the whole process is With.

Intimacy comes when we are pointed in a healthy direction, when we have a clear identity of who we think we are and are happy with that thought, when we endeavor to live a life of balance, when we are open to trust, and when we are willing to experience our own pain and fears and ultimately when we know, love and accept self.

Experi¬encing congruency with our own feelings and self-acceptance affords us the joy of intimacy with another.

Re-Building a connection.

Learning what are primary needs and how to fulfil them, both yours and your partners, is prime.

Our qualified therapists work with couples to regain a positive perspective, restore intimacy, and find solutions to the challenges they face. Learning to communicate important concerns and focusing on shared goals are key components in rebuilding a relationship.

Essential skills for a healthy relationship.

A number of people come to me and tell me that their partner does not listen to them. What I have found over the years is that if I teach them how to listen they will begin to notice that people hear them. It is an off phenomena but true... We all need essential tools to sort through the challenges that threaten the harmony of our life and relationship.

Ease tension in your relationship.

Bright Star Canada Ltd counselling sessions focusses on decreasing tension and shifts the emphasis onto shared relationship goals. Restore and create a new vision for yourself and your relationship by calling (250) 216-7250 for more information